James Mills is a web developer in the North East of England and founder of Refresh Teesside »
Mike Hughes is the Head of Business for the Evening Gazette. He will be blogging on all matters of importance to Teesside businesses - and some that are just worth knowing »
Jez Davison, business writer at the Evening Gazette, is a regular blogger on all things business - particularly finance, entrepreneurship and the state of the Teesside economy » 
Karen McLauchlan is the Evening Gazette's deputy business and features editor - with special interest in all things industry, property and arts related » 
Jeremy Middleton is a venture capitalist and the co-founder of FTSE-200 company HomeServe » 
Deloitte, which has 23 offices across the UK including Newcastle, is among the country's leading professional services firms » 
ClimateNE & Climate Change Schools Project support the move to a low-carbon, resilient economy and help businesses avoid risk and realise commercial opportunities. Posts by Jen Atkinson, Krista McKinzey and Harriet Thew » Well actually she was a lady tax man but that didn't make her any less scary when she rang last week to 'question' our partnership tax return.
'There's no way this one will go through as it is' she states in cool business like tones.
'Oh really' I say, feeling the prickling of sweat on my upper lip. 'Why not?' I ask, knowing I'm going to need to write down the answer and the chances of there being a pen that works within reach of the phone looking as slim as me getting through this conversation without looking like I haven't got a clue.
'Because the figures in 3.24 and 3.25 should give you the figure in 3.26'.
'...yes' I answer, not having the foggiest clue what 3.2whatsits is and feeling too much of an inept pretender to ask for clarification. (I'm stood in my pajamas at this point and even though I know she can't see me, I feel like my just having got up is becoming clearer to her with every word that comes out of my mouth - and she does not approve. 'Tut tut' I hear her thinking, 'still in bed at 9.05 on a work day, no wonder the accounts aren't in order'.)
She continues '..and they don't.'
'They don't?'
'They don't.'
'Oh.' Balls.
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